Play I-420, Scene X+1, Take N-2, Action!

How 2006 ended and 2007 started ...

2007-02-12T05:53:00.000-08:00

Cut to Dec 2006 ...

abhimanyu weds doorva;
kacker oli sush mish and co rock it up at the wedding;
log soche the ki i-420 logon ka shaadi hona door ka baath hai lekin abhimanyu ne prove kardiya ki yeh door ka nahin .. lekin doorva ki baath hai !! aadaab aadaaab !!
(impo, circa 1979 - )

impo puts europe trip .. budapest amsterdam london
shakes it up in london with gujju bhaaai
loses an expensive camera
comes back chastened

start of 2007 ...

the going gets good ..
impo cracks singapore move;
finally ships his a$$ out of i-420 to the southeast

then it gets better ...
oli cracks a killer job
gets a Nokia E62
gets a laptop at work ...

then it gets still better
gujju bhai ex-brit patel returns to i-420, his true calling
gujju bhai adjusts smartly from london metro to mumbai locals..

the icing on the cake .....
anuj .. i will let him do the honours ...

Adam's Big Apple!!

2006-07-31T10:36:00.000-07:00

Check out this beauty from a friend of mine who just crossed the boundaries of Mumbai for the first time and found himself in NY all of a sudden.

The magnum opus of the Zhankee starts here:

Saalay Gotlee, i-420 blog ka marketing kar raha hoon to paisa kis baat ka maang raha hai .. tum log ka comments may junta kay alawa aur kisi ka comments hai kya ? nahi .. kaisay hoga, kisko maaloom hi nahi i-420 naam ka blog bhee exist karta hai ... phikar mat kar, ab maloom ho jayega ...
Bhai log,
Last weekend Disco tech gaya tha ... Webster Hall (3 floor disc) ... mai to hill gaya, bole to 'mind blow' ho gaya ... Seeing is believing ...
Girlfrnd ko saath nahi lakay jaanay ka udhar, other wise u will miss the chance of dancing with those hot chicks ... apun udhar akela naach raha tha , to ek chick apun kay saath naachnay lagi. After somtime apun uskay saath ragad ragad kay naachnay laga , bole to english may 'Grind' kar raha tha, to wo boli ki " Don't fu** me buddy, my bf is watching" ... bhench** apun wapis hill gaya. Phir usnay bf say intro karaya. After chit-chatting with her bf, I asked him "what does ur gf do?". Bhai log, suna that "ignorace is bliss". For me it turned out to be " Mis-communication is a bliss". Apun jab"What does ur gf do" usko bola, to apun thoda thalli tha, aur American accent try kar raha tha. Usko sunaee diya "Can I dance with ur gf?". Wo bola ofcourse, phir kya tha, Grind aur Grind aur Griiiinnnndddd ...
Girls end up dancing with multiple guys, thats how it goes over here. I ended up dancing with 5 chicks(no bullshit here). First dance was very close encouner as mentioned above.
Apun Indian dance kar raha tha ek phirangee kay saath and she was imitating my moves.End may poochti hai "Are u from Arab. Arabs move a lot while they dance". Wallah! bahoot Khubsoorat hoti wo chick.

On every floor u have poles for female and male stripper(in Tarzan chaddi). Phoolto 6 pack abs. Maray ko Monsieur Whackz ka Single pack yaad aa gaya(Jaadugar Goga ka discovery tha).Male stripper ka bahoot demand dekha.Girls from crown jump on him and get the pleasure.
Gujju, apun ka item London jaarela hai ghoomnay.Usko mai bola apna London mai jigree dost rehnayka. Tera e-mail usko doon kya? Acha item hai.
Nashta-paani kar sakta hai.Khana nahi milega.
Ab tak kay samachar yahee samapt hote hai.
Wait for the next update.
"Jai Maharashtra, Jai NY".

Return of the Phoenix!

2006-07-13T23:32:00.000-07:00

Just when everybody thought that the I-420 brigade had made its peace with the ungodly and faded away without so much as a whimper into the enveloping folds of the sands of time, the clique awakens, just as the Phoenix did from the ashes! Shaking of the dusts of lethargy and stirring from the depths of inactivity, the lion roars and announces its arrival yet again to the mortal world of the plebian!

Okay very quick update on everything at I-420 since the last blog happened:

- There is a full bottle of Johnny L - Black courtesy olifactor at home and there is one more of Glenmorangie acquired on the coasts of Singapore by yours truly.

- Jappo can cook and will cook good chicken stuff if given the right kind of motivation.

- Wacker is putting the Bhubaneswar trip next week

- My bullet has decided to give up on me. Hasnt started despite a million kicks.

- Meesh celebrated her 15th birthday weekend before last.

- There is an awesome football cushion at home, courtesy once again of yours truly from Singapore.

- I have run out of more things to write.

The usual mehehe !!!

2006-05-03T06:54:00.000-07:00

Gymbie sends a mail to junta suggesting a weekend trip and asks everyone to revert. But as the case is normally with our junta, the whole point of the mail is lost, and there is a mailing spree started by Wacker. Why? Because Gymbie marked a cc to Wacker (Might as well have marked a bcc to him...). Here's a ring side account of the ensuing battle:

SCENE 1

Wacker starts it off... and the rest of the fighting is carried on by Oily, Tummy Man, Salary and Chimpo. It is very similar to politicians ticking off communal riots here. Anyways, read on...

Wacker: am i supposed to reply ?... coz u have put me in the 'cc' list .. so technically the mail wasnt meant for me to reply but just as an 'fyi' to me..

TummyMan: that too she's put you LAST in the cc list ... almost as an afterthought. I wouldn't take that if I were you ....

Chimpo: Since when did you start getting technical?And the fact that she has earmarked masseurs for you implies that she is expecting either you or the masseur to reply; likely to be you in this case as the masseur is not marked on the email unless he or she has been bcc’ed on it. Considering the various parameters for decision making optimized for productive responses to managerial complexities of schedule formulation, yes, I think you should reply. (WTF?!)

Salary: Wacker dost..... you dont get technical man!!!! It is the pimpo's territory"Considering the various parameters for decision making optimized for productive responses to managerial complexities of schedule formulation, yes, I think you should reply. Pimpo, what did the fuckin nurse do to you in the hospi you were born in...... or were you born in a reserach lab.....

Oily (Why Why??): arrey Tummy havent u hrd of " save the best for last"...stop imitating hilaya row for once....ur a disturber of the peace... and i agree with sallu, whom i had the joyful privilege of meeting today morning and share a sleepy bus ride with, pimpo is monopolistically brilliant at his technical skills be it given to him at birth or otherwise inculcated....

Tummy Man: Rummage through the rubble in bold text above and laugh loudly!
Salary:This is hilarious... good catch Tummy. Oily... what say u now?

Oily: nothin...jst that tummy cant ever come up with anything original so he uses wots already available...the "i wldnt take that if i were u" line has been coined by hilaya Row, a common friend, and he decides to over use it....lazy louch that he is... its the easy way out...and thats wot losers do... and btw, salary, form ur mail id say ur a close second to him if u ask me...chut...

TummyMan: i've heard of "Lazy Lout" and "Slouch" - did the usually benign but now ominous vocabulary of Mr Oily Matter just coin a new word - LOUCH? heh heh
Salary:Heyy Auli dude.... shant gadhadhari Bheem !!!!! its just that i found what Tummy wrote very funny....

Chimpo: I notice that Tummy just pipped Wacker to being last on the cc list…. Almost as a precursor to an afterthought. Tummy - Would wacker take it if he were you? Considering you wouldn’t take it if you were him being last on the cc – so you being you, is it still ok to be penultimate? I wouldn’t take that if wacker were you. (huh?)

Wacker: whoa...! i would def mind if i were u !

Salary: Pimpo Bhai... kuch samajh mein nahi aaya... hindi mein samjhao yarr....

Chimpo: Language ka problem nahi hai sallu ... comprehension skills ka thoda fight hai tera ... I am sorry yaar .. (if this was a movie and I were a doctor in that, this would be the poignant scene where I take my glasses off, lower my stethoscope and nod my head painting a lachrymal picture)

TummyMan: if you were playing a doctor in a "movie" taking your stuff off, we all know what sort of movie that would be!!!! Tera Ghagra Meri Choli!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SCENE 2

Gymbie is banging her head on the wall in sheer frustration and regretting the instant when she had decided to suggest a weekend plan...

Could be continued...!!

Dedicated to all the Londoners who missed out on the fun...

Gadha mujduri ...

2006-05-02T06:15:00.000-07:00

Today, I complete 4 years of working .. wah! I'm proud of myself ...

Wacker's Interview

2006-04-19T04:47:00.000-07:00

Look what I found ...

An excerpt from thoxey's site ...

Ranjoos Wacker has started an advertising agency, with DN of all people, (whose expertise in writing sports columns and making bad magazines will sure come in handy...)

During an interview with our correspondent, Mr. Wacker revealed the following interesting facts...

Correspondent: Congratulations, Mr. Wacker. How is the work coming along? Have you got any advertising assignments yet?

Wacker : Well, no, not yet. However, this may be because we are an event management company...

Correspondent : (Scratching head...) But I thought you said advertising...

Wacker : (Continuing..) Actually we do have a couple of projects in hand, but they are more of a marketing nature...because we are baically a marketing oriented company right now....(???)

Further investigation revealed that these assignments were door to door selling of "Pappu", a new underwear company...

Congrats Salary

2006-04-14T03:35:00.000-07:00

I am writing my maiden post on the occassion of a very noble judgement passed by the Mumbai High Court which affects the life of our dear own "Salary" to a great degree.

With this landmark judgement I am sure our dearest friend will be able to continue his escapades and easily achieve his target of visitiing each and every dance bar in Mumbai.

My heartiest congratulations to Salary. I heard one of the organisations which filed the suit was the "dance bar regulars' association headed by a certain Mr. A.S. and I have the inkling that it just may be someone we know.

Congrats Salary...

Goa mein Felaaoooo ....

2006-04-13T04:02:00.000-07:00

As our 'men of courage' bid adieu to the land of scanty and make their move towards the land of plenty ... it was only natural for me to drop in and share a few thoughts. So here it goes ....

Kadzz, Chimpz, Oily, Wacker ... Needless to say 'have a great time' ... 'coz I very well know that you madersapats would actually kick some a$$ ... although I wish you luck considerin' the fact that you wud have to wait outside the 'door' to get some ass-space inside ! But if there is one thing(actually 2, and i'll come to the second in a bit) that wacker can do well ... is to 'chodu banav' people ... so i bet he'll rise to the occassion and help you guys get some a$$-space. About the second thing, he can help sell tickets too ! So why don't you guys do something interesting on ur journey to Goa ... Oily and Kadzz you can run thru the train lookin' for ppl with an extra ticket ... once you locate that someone, make a deal ... no no don't buy it.. are you mad ... take that ticket to wacker and he'll sell it for a premium .... with that money .. buy a single beer (if you get lucky, 2 beers) ... enjoy it to the last drop .... that wud be a treat from me !! Ohh .. and Impzz don't you think I forgot you ... you are THE guy .. while kadzz and oily run thru the train and wacker is tryin' to make money for beer .. you should be actually managing the whole show ... damn it man, ur a consultant ... they don't get their hands dirty implementing ideas tactically, ur the dude ... u work on strategies .. wayyy to go !!

Wacker ... you stay safe ... you'll get a special 'sex machao' question from my fidus Achates, Mr. Kadzz 'Spec Ops' Bhai. Courtesy : A 'not very happy' Gujju Bhai

Oily 'da pompa$$' Matter ... yo brotha .. wassap ... i soooo hope you finally give the HM sessions a break and grab onto somethin' really real (by no means, i mean to say ... that what you've been holdin' onto is unreal) .. besta luck !

Impzz the Pimpzz ... now, could there be a better title ... itz my hope that our dude, will find the land of plenty an ideal hunting ground for finding good deals ... considering his inherent nature ... he should be merrily pimpin' around the beaches (dude ya gotta practice more majik trix) ... it goes without saying that the beneficiaries of the effort will be, respectively - Wacker, Kadzz,Wacker,Oily,Wacker ! (ya seez ... wackerz the ganduz alwayz the nevers getz satisfied)

Kadzz 'Spec Ops' Budzz ... dude the only thing you gotta do is hold pimpo uncle's middle finger and be a good boy ... he'll take you around, show you all the nice places ... lol..! And what is more mission critical is you deliver my message to Wacker (and if reqd. his hairy a$$) ... make sure you remember the exact words !!

All said and done ... I hope you guys have an awesome time drinkin', surfin', drinkin', oglin', drinkin and dancing !

As they say ... What do all men want, they just want more !!

So, go have a blast !

Going Going Goa!!

2006-04-12T23:40:00.000-07:00

All my bags are packed, I am ready to go
I am standing here outside the door...
goes the song by John Denver. And that's exactly what they will be doing exactly 24 hrs later. The Fearsome Foursome of Wacker, Chimpzz, Oily Matter and Kadzz.

The first line is good. But the second line? Yes, they have to wait outside the door, in a long queue... for getting a place in the unreserved compartment! And where are they off to? They are off to Goa! To the Sun, Sand and the Surf! Gujju Bhai, the original Spec Ops partner of the Kadzz, has some special comments on this trip, which he will be more than happy to share.

Till 3 days back, it was the Famous Five who were to go, until the famous lady, Nirax decided to drop the plan in favour of a more adventurous trip to Sariska Wildlife reserve, in the hunt for opportunities to hunt. She decided that after Sallu's fall, it was her moral responsibility towards the law of this country to grab some black buck. In support of her cause, her company decided to host a conference with the wild animals in Sariska, but unfortunately, Nirax could only converse in langoorian. The other animals took offense, complained to the forest guard, and now Nirax is languishing in Gurgaon Dungeon.

Coming back to the home town, we see the foursome readying for their trip. We will wish them luck and wait with waited breath to hear of their exploits in the land of plenty.

NOTE: The Fearsome Foursome have decided that in honour of the Nirax lady, they will observe one whole minute of silence on Baga beach, before hitting the water.

Some awesome one liners to keep you in splits

2006-04-10T01:43:00.000-07:00

Caught the following ones on the net a long while back but forgot where i got them from.

- Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under
- The one who invented the door knocker got a No-bell prize

- The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large
- In democracy its your vote that counts. In feudalism its your count that votes.

- When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye
- Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

- It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers
- An office with many people and few electrical outlets could be in for a power struggle

- Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
- There was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn't control his pupils

Vote for whichever you thought was the best or if you can add some of your own, go ahead!!

The Fools' Paradise

2006-04-04T00:56:00.000-07:00

A Saturday night like never before! I still don’t believe we actually managed to have a party amidst all the deliberately created confusion by (Ch)impzz’s hyperactive grey cells (which could have given the KGB a run for their money) and Oily’s prehistoric grey cells (which forgot to obey Good ol’ Darwin).

At Bloo Bark, Wacker showed me to Oily and (Ch)impzz as if I were a museum artifact. But he was only trying to allay their suspicion. But alas, the two were too influenced by a long session of MTV Bakra.

Anyways, party starts at Hawaiian Outback, and in comes Kappa, dragging himself along after a day of Ahmedabad - Mumbai Central – Churchgate – Lower Parel – Churchgate – Mahim – Bandra (only to be followed by Bandra – Andheri). So I, Wacker, B3, Nirax and Kappa are partying and wondering where the hell were the other guys. Finally they turn up, and after hearing their explanation, we didn’t know whether to laugh or to cry!

Wacker was the start attraction at Hawaiian outback, where a guy (read gay) fell in love with Wacker and his oh-so-long-and-silky tresses. The two gay-some quickly exchanged cell numbers. Please to be noting that Mee suuu was in the Dalhi and Wacker was free to flirt around. But the best he could do was find a GUY..!!!!

After the drunken revelry at the outback, all of us managed to squeeze into one lousy cab, and headed to the Bastion of Fools (read I-420). Still in the mood of partying, Wacker starts making drinks for everyone. Now Jappo joins Kadzz, Kappa, Nirax, B3, Gymbie, Salary, (Ch)impzz, Oily, Kappa in the revelry. Kadzz is sloshed, so is Kappa, B3, and Salary. Meanwhile Salary gets hold of some green undergrowth and starts flying.

All sense of time and noise is lost. Cut to circa 3.30 am , April 2, 2006. Gymbie and B3 leave for their abode. Nirax, feeling unwell is escorted by (Ch)impzz back to her place. Wacker and I decide to put Iron Maiden. It goes… Fear of the Dark, Fear of the dark, I’ve a constant fear that something’s always near! And near it was! Suddenly the bell rings, and before we could say ‘Pandu’ a bunch of 4 light sabre weilding aliens crash the party. They take a round of the house and luckily there are no power puff girls inside. Oily and Salary are rolling around in the bedroom, again luckily hidden by a pillow.

So down the stairs and out the gate we parade behind the aliens, Kadzz (in the local dialect) and Wacker (in the national dialect) trying to negotiate freedom. Out of the gate, we see the mothership of these aliens. Wacker and Kadzz trying harder now to avoid entering the mothership. And then comes Oily walking (strolling) straight into the mothership. All this while, Jappo’s life is flashing in front of his eyes. There was no escape now, and we all reluctantly get into the mothership. The aliens start taking down the names for the sacrifice, only to realize that all of these earthlings are 24 years old, and are ‘Angrezz’. There’s sudden silence in the mothership when one of the lesser aliens quotes Rs 1200 / earthling as the price to freedom. Silence! And in the silence one solitary voice speaks out… “Which Indian City are you From??” (Kappa to Jappo, unknowing all this time that Jappo is actually from Japan, and not from some vague ‘Indian’ city). Wacker and Kadzz, again negotiate, and the price drops to 3000 total. We agree, and the aliens drive us to the ATM as a gesture of the new bond of friendship. Kadzz goes to ATM, and in the mean time, Wacker charms one of those alien beings with his oh-so-long-and-silky tresses and exchanges private numbers (two in one night!!), and the ransom comes down to 2000. Plus a coffee sponsored by the mothership.

Cut to scene I-420. (Ch)impzz comes home to find the place abandoned in a hurry. He finishes whatever is left in the glasses and transmits an sms signal to wacker, who replies ‘aliens’. Still under the influence of a heavy dose of Bakra, (Ch)impzz thinks that Oily has crossed over to the other side, and everyone is now pulling a fast one on him. So he calls Gymbie, who denies any knowledge of the earthlings’ whereabouts. Still skeptical, (Ch)impzz walks to Boing Boing, only to find that the earthlings and aliens have forged a bond of friendship and are happily chatting away over a cup of coffee.

We do a ‘beam me up Scotty’ to reach the bastion, and Kadzz loses all sense of Space and Time. So have to leave the latter part to someone else.

In the end I declare by the power invested in me (by the aliens) that the two fools be renamed permanently on this blog. Chimpzz and Varun the Oily Matter!!!

And Nirax lights another candle

2006-04-03T21:46:00.000-07:00

After Kaddz birthday last week, Nirax is not one to be left behind. She immediately decided to celebrate her birthday this week - bigger and better. So all you junta can wish Nirax today on her birthday - its has taken her 50 long years to turn 15. Finally.

The Baptism of I-420 or the April Fool that was never meant to be..

2006-04-03T13:13:00.000-07:00

I slept at 6:30 am Saturday night (technically Sunday morning) wondering what would constitute as the bigger highlight of the day – the unexpected visitors at home or Impz (well supported by oily) making an April Fool of himself, over and over again !

It all started with impz trying to duck out of the poly’s plan and then we all were trying to make alternate plans i.e. shooters, shack, junior enigma or good old whiskey and water/soda at I-420.

Setting.

- Kaddz and me at niraxx’s place trying to figure out where to go
- Impz and Oily at I-420. Watching MTV Bakra for FOUR HOURS (please note!)
- B3 or Bong-Bang-Babe (pallo) in town .. to later join party at bandra or wherever.
- Gymbee reaching home after a tough day at work. Needs time to get ready and finish dinner etc etc
- Salary absconding as usual but later contacted and agreed to meet junta at Bloo Bark.

Frame of mind at 8 pm, Saturday night.
- Wacker thinking, after much deliberation and in-fighting, that it’s decided that we’re going to Shack! Or so he thought …. He has fixed up with B3 and she has confirmed her attendance.
- Kaddz assumed shooters and that’s what he communicated to impz when called ..
- Bong Babe not wanting to be alone at a pub, tried to hurry us up by messaging gymbee that she may not come. Or she was generally having second thoughts. Women !!!
- Gymbee was getting ready for junior enigma (courtesy earlier message sent by wacker). And thus was taking her own sweet time to get ready. Also forwarding B3’s ‘not coming’ message to impz and oily. And is in constant touch with impz on plans for the night.
- Salary, who has NO clue as to where the party is, gets ready for the night and plans to reach bloo bark
- And last, but not the least… impz and oily. After the intellectually stimulating MTV bakra, impz and oily have assimilated the above info in the following order :
Wacker says shack
Kaddaz says shooters
Gymbee is delaying to reach bloo bark and harping at getting to enigma as and when she arrives
Salary landing up with a WIDE grin, which (to them) means he is upto some mischief
B3 hinting at not coming to bandra for the party

Enter the over-analyzing brain of pimpo/impz. Coupled with the logic-less brain of oily, impz decides that we are ALL (wacker, kaddz, niaxx, gymbee, salary) playing a prank on him, esp since it’s 1st April. Oily feeds his suspicious mind which by now has moved into overdrive .

I enter the house and using B3’s reason of her waiting alone at bandra, try to get them (and me) to move out asap. And request oily to get ready first as I do not want to wait for him for hours to get ready. (and if oily delayed, I was prepared to call B3 and call off the plan!) However, both oily and impz are convinced that we are playing a prank on them and so I WOULD want to push the 2 of them out of the house without me. So my request to get ready later coupled with the SMS from B3 to gymbee to impz (read above) confirms their apprehensions.

However, we move to bloo bark and kaddz, niraxx and me leave for shack, leaving oily and scheming-impz to come with gymbee and salary. At bloo bark, while I wait for kaddz, oily tries to give those smart ones saying “try shooters.. he must have already reached there !” However, kaddaz arrives at the scene and we leave. In the rick I realize that kaddz wants shooters and we agree to go to shack instead. We message impz to come to shack and he says “I’m on my way da”.

Cut to bloo bark and they are waiting for gymbee who is getting delayed, inspite of being called every min. BINGO !! Enough material to titillate impz’s grey-turning-pink cells and decides that gymbee too is on wacker’s side and together they maybe at enigma, shack or shooters… anywhere !! April Fool !!! Enter Salary with his I’l-pimp-for-u grin and says “Whats the story guys”. JACKPOT. Impz is now tizzy and excited about his brilliant Sherlock-esque deductions and accepts that Salary too knows about this plan and with wacker and others will make a bakra out of impz. April Fool !! And now impz is patting his back at having figured it all out and exposing the prank plans. And junta at shack continues to get drunk.

Impz and oily pester gymbee to show messages from wacker to further deduce his modus operandi, all the while telling her to read between the lines and that wacker was trying to pull a fast one on her too ! And continue to interrogate salary for the same. To which he replies “zyada dimag nahi laganeka !” Impz and oily check junior enigma for kaddz, niraz, B3 and me. To them, I would have taken the rick and made a U-turn to go to enigma while I call them to Shack !!! Wah… what an april fool it would have been to play on impz and oily…. But that was not the way we all (sans impz and oily) were seeing it ! On gymbee’s insistence, they (salary, impz, oily and gymee) get to shack. They see me and kaddz and B3 and suddenly the entire evening whizzes past them. A April Fool that was never meant to be !!

It din’t end at the shack. No sir. It continued till 3 in the morning with impz thinking that oily has double crossed him and is in cahoots with wacker and is FINALLY playing a prank on impz. This part kaddz will tell – the baptism of I-420 and how this again fed impz with his April Fool paranoia.

Cheerz
Wa'c'ker

Ps - pl add wherever I have missed out on important (read hilarious) points...

Fiscal 06-07 starts with a bang. I-420 ka VA(A)T laggax !!

2006-04-02T06:04:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was the day all of us celebrated our birthdays. We are special, so special that most countries recognize the auspicious day - the start of a brand new P&L and the commemoration of Fools worldwide!

Ok, so this one is for all you CAT aspirants out there. Read below for the clues:

Wacker communicates that party rendezvous is the Hawaiian Outback to Messrs (read Messers - kind of messing around) me and Oily. (Circa 2006 AD, April 1st, 7 pm)
Kaddz at a change in temporal coordinates communicates party rendezvous is Shouters to Messrs: Oily and me via cellular connections. (Circa 2006 AD, April 1st, 7:00:30 pm)
Nirax is mum ... no, no she is yet to get married ... Mum here means silent. (All circa)
Bong-bang-babe sends a short messaging service missive to Gymbee intimating her inability to attend the do at the Hawaaian outback. (Circa 2006 AD, April 1st, 21.45 pm)
Gujju bhai doesnt know any of this as he is busying trying to appear un-gujju to british chicklets. (Circa doesnt matter, different time zone)
Salary saunters into the Bloo Bark restaurant at 10.30 pm to ask Oily and me "whats the story?" (For salary, no circa, only Circus)
A-butt and angelina come to the party at 10.30 pm in terms of adding to the planning complexity. They finally dont come to the actual party.
Wacker is a fluent liar.
I am pathologically suspicious of Wacker, especially on our birthdays.
Meesoo leaves for Delhi.
Kapil the journo arrives on the scene.
Gymbee takes ages to finish her daily quota of hay with a single response to all questions asked such as "when are you coming?", Answer : " Coming there in 15 minutes)
Wacker tells Gymbee earlier in the day that the do is happening at Chota Engama.
Gymbee is suspicious of Oily and Me.
Oily and Me don our thinking caps and plan counter-action measures against the Wacker and the Kaddz
Wacker, Kaddz and Nirax leave in an auto.
Gymbee , Salary, Oily and I go to Chota Engama and leave in 15 minutes after having comprehensively determined that Wacker and Co are not there as either customers or Waiters.
Once again, its April 1st.

So the questions:

1) Was there a party in the first place?

2) If yes, where all did it happen and who were the party goers?

3) Did A-butt wear the same bra as he did the previous time when the last blog on him was written?

4) Does Gymbee know that Wacker was planning a spoof on Kaddz with help from Gujju bhai in consultation with Nirax directly in cahoots with Oily and I so as to ensure Salary does not know that A-butt and Angelina have already told Kaddz that Wacker is spoofing Gymbee?

ANSWER THE 4 QUESTIONS CORRECTLY AND WIN EXCITING PRIZES SUCH AS

- Wackers follical remnants from his escapades down under (really down and really really under) under the scalpel.

- Serenade by Me, my guitar and Irene.

- Workout day with Gymbee with a bonus course on "How to make mincemeat of your prince charming in 30 seconds!" Satisfaction guaranteed else ask for full refund within 30 days!!

P.S: If you are hot and single and follow under either categories of Chicks or Chicklets, please let Me know. We can plan to have coffee by mutual arrangement.

Around the sun

2006-03-31T04:17:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was March 30th.

Kaddu's last chance to spend some money before he fixed his P&L statement. Year closure and all.

Kaddu's birthday it was. Happy birthday kaddu.

We will make amends at the next i-420 party for you not being able to be in this side of town. Wacker will do a full monty for you.

Cheerz
i-420

wacker wont wince !

2006-03-30T23:24:00.000-08:00

As impz put it .. "gotal has thrown the gauntlet at wacker .. " .. so here goes my account of the (un)fortunate series of events during the bowling game.

Background : Typical to oily's style, he sends a mail with the first line that reads " 3 things Anuj.." and goes on to elucidate 4 points. There is a barrage of mails going back and forth between the two of us and it ends by accusing each other of being a Pompous Ass.

Cut to wacker bowling his first round. Open frame. Then comes Oily. A 9-spare! Whoa . Cut to wacker again bowling an open frame. And oily ... STRIKE ! He walks back with a swagger. Looks like a bald hulk-rambo combo. It's one thing for men who have huge pectorals/biceps to walk with their arms away from their body. It's another matter that the great oily also has his legs prodruting outwards when he walks. Makes one wonder if he has an itch or it's just his muscular thighs . But then again ..

So, at this point impz delicately points out "F#%k man.. oily is going to beat you kacker. And if he does, you should change your name". Oily cannot resist this opportunity and insists that if i lose to him, i shall be called wanker on this blog. I remain silent. At this point oily gets another STRIKE. There is this glow on oily's cheeks that moves to his shinning bald head and then to his other set of cheeks. Anymore swagger and his hands will touch the ground on either side of his ever expanding chest. "Hells Yeah.. " says oliy. I continue to remain silent.

By god's grace and inspiration from japo, i get a strike in my next round. I can hear a hhhsssssssssss from somewhere behind. Further investigation reveals that oily let off some steam and his chest is now back to his normal size. Under pressure oily moves to his bowling mark. He rotates his shoulders from back to front. Concentrates. Gutter Ball! The next shot gets him some pins, but it's an open frame. He's feeling the heat. I continue to remain silent.

Cut to the last round. I have done my bit. With abysmal bowling towards the end, i have given oily a chance to beat me ! 3 chances for oily to change my name to wanker. First shot. STRIKE. Hmmmm.. Second shot, 2 pins !! Third shot, open frame. Oily is 10 points short. I do not remain silent now . I propose oily to be hereby re-named Pompous Ass. And this time, oily remains silent.

Thats all for now. I hope that if oily.. sorry, PA decides to comment on this post, he sign-off as 'Pompous Ass'. And the gentleman that he is, i'm sure he will.

Cheerz
wa'c'ker

Will wacker actually post?

2006-03-30T02:41:00.000-08:00

Impz wrote ...

But above all this was the furious battle waged between the Oily and the Wacker. While i would love to describe what happened, i think i would let wacker do the talking.

Yeah .. and you think Wackky boy will actually post.

Wacker feels blogging is an art pursued by 'oh-ur-so-jobless' people. While I don't really agree with his thoughts, he has the right to express the same. But isn't that blogging all about .. expressing your thoughts?? But, why would Wacky care?

Anyways .... I see his name in the contributors list and hope he posts about who the hell won the bowling game. Otherwise, Impz you'll have to do that !

I remember my 1st game of bowling at 'Bullseye' (some 4 yrs. back) ... I din't have any idea what it was all about and still beat wacky,benasri babu and coupla other guys who couldn't care bowling a heavy ball straight (they were too busy trying to showcase their 'add that spin' skills). Won a free beer as a prize (which I got 6 months late !)

Impz you have to make edits to the templates, I can't see any option which allows me to do that !

Waitin' for Wacker to post !

Happy b'day Kaddz !

~ Gujju bhai from London

And the balls kept rolling

2006-03-29T12:24:00.000-08:00

Today was a day that i would love to forget for i hate to be under the weather and away from work. That is not to mean i want to be at work always, it just means i would love to be away from work but do something fun in that time - not loll around in bed hoping to get better. Anyways, Oily stayed at home to keep me company so the day passed on quickly.

Oily is cool. Cool Oily. Ergo, Oily is actually a Coolie. Or Coily. Whatever. Oily - the mysteryman! If he were to take part in a quiz:

Quiz Master : Whats the Capital of India?
Oily : Aa.. hmm... ehhh .... O.... Delhington DC.
Quiz Master : Please accept me as your disciple, oh Master !!

Wacker and Meesoo saw Being Cyrus. Wacker says its a vague-ass movie but watchable.

Benarasi bawa cracks another univ .... this time Bapson welcomes the dude with open arms ....

Gymbee is partying in Club Escape ...

Nirax, Wacker, Meesoo, Oily, Jappo and I finally went 0ut late night to Bowling Co. I had to pull myself along cos though i was feeling unwell, i thought the fresh air would do me good. Very interesting contest it was. There was Nirax trying to figure out which of her fingers she would break with which ball. And Meesoo - who felt guilty everytime her bowling ball hit the pins! And Jappo the underdog showed the indian bowlers a thing or two on how Japan is ahead of India when it comes to prowess with balls. But above all this was the furious battle waged between the Oily and the Wacker. While i would love to describe what happened, i think i would let wacker do the talking.

I am feeling a lil bit better from last night. But medication is going to kill me. Have a feeling i am gonna OD on crocin. So thats how the story unwinds. Hope to get better and make the journey to express towers tomorrow.

Wait with bated breath on what the wacker will put forth .....

Quick updates

2006-03-27T20:13:00.000-08:00

My 2000 watt music system has been truly and completed hooked up in the hall of the i-420 of the local india.
Oily is getting appraised today at work - so junta can wish the dude all the best.
Shacker is doing some random work in chennai - should be back tonight
Gujju bhaai - in london has still not got laid there despite advances from 3 girls and 2 donkeys.
A-butt has decided that now is the time to bring out all the tshirts that he used to wear as a 3 year old - worse still he wears them for work-outs. Like Oily put it yesterday to A-butt, " Dude - why are you wearing that bra?"!!

Act of the day

Yesterday evening, night to be more precise, Oily, Jappo and I went to the Coffee day on Yari road. And yes, you guessed right, we went there to have coffee. I leave the house with my wallet. Jappo leaves the house with his wallet. But Oily?? The DBCA leaves the house with a wallet and a half filled bottle of half-litre Pepsi. So when we reach Coffee Day, Oily puts his wallet and the Pepsi bottle on the table and the rest is History. When we left, the head honchos of Coffee Day were apparently undergoing treatment for trauma on how their branding could have impacted the target audience so badly!

IMPOSTAR

Cast-a-way - The 100% real players

2006-03-27T00:00:00.001-08:00

Truth be told, the story of I-420 is pretty much the trials and tribulations of a set of individuals, who came together under the most extraordinary of circumstances to ... no, no .. not star in a movie called the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen but who came together to .. to .... hmm ... what was that again? Anyways for the time being, the secret of I-420 should remain just that, a secret until the Dark Lord (he now stayz in SEEPZ, after all that load shedding and stuff) comes calling.

Cast
Shacker - The inspiration on which the movie "Ass good ass it gets" was based on, while Shacker might not be practical, he is a joker - ergo, he is a semi-practical joker or a quasi-practical joker depending on how you look at it. Recently has redefined the word 'hirsute'. Agreed to be subjected to an autopsy and was decidely relieved when the test results came negative and the doctors declared him "Still Alive".

Oily - Hells yeah! The dude - Mr. Oily "Razor" Nair, is our very own DBCA - Desi Born Confused American. I mean really, god - if you are up there and rubbing your hands in glee in unbridled abandon at the marvels of your creation, you really got one whacko sense of humour. Having said that, the Oily is tolerable when it comes to violating a guitar - he does it with raucous pleasure. Touted to star in the thriller, "Being oily". Coming soon to an institution near you.

Jappo - Jappo is actually a variable whose physical persona can take many forms, the second of which is the current denizen of the deep at I-420. With superhuman skills befitting a superhuman, Jappo breaks out into the most intense form of calisthenics when asked a question for which the answer has to be Yes or No. Indian food falls into two buckets - Yes Spicy & No Spicy. Soon to star in "A Japanese werewolf in Mumbai".

Impz - the Star of the Galaxy. Wiz master and Quizmaster. The Riddler. Houdini with Ooomph. Beast on a bullet. Music-maniac. And the founder of this blog.

Guest appearances -
Mesoo - Ok now this one is tricky. Mesoo is a kid. and a girl. and a lady. All rolled into one .... by 2 .. thats right .... All rolled into a 1/2 (half). Particularly well known for being the Apple of Shacker's Eyes and the I-pod of the rest of him, Mesoo authored the best-seller "A five-faced approach to ruling apes!".

Gymbee - The lady warrior. Xena of the modern era. Presenting to you Gymbee. After tormenting all the camels in the gulf, all of which committed suicide by jumping into oil wells, Gymbee came to conquer Andheri West. With a passion for washing clothes and a genius for drying them, gymbee is undeniably the Monica of the i-420 gang. Currently engaged in making a 2 hour documentary on "How to make 2 hour documentaries".

Soon to come -
Introducing Frooti, Kaddz, Nirax, Angelina, A-butt, Salary, Gujju-bhai, Tummy man, Benarasi bawa and PJ Lawyer.