The Fools' Paradise

A Saturday night like never before! I still don’t believe we actually managed to have a party amidst all the deliberately created confusion by (Ch)impzz’s hyperactive grey cells (which could have given the KGB a run for their money) and Oily’s prehistoric grey cells (which forgot to obey Good ol’ Darwin).

At Bloo Bark, Wacker showed me to Oily and (Ch)impzz as if I were a museum artifact. But he was only trying to allay their suspicion. But alas, the two were too influenced by a long session of MTV Bakra.

Anyways, party starts at Hawaiian Outback, and in comes Kappa, dragging himself along after a day of Ahmedabad - Mumbai Central – Churchgate – Lower Parel – Churchgate – Mahim – Bandra (only to be followed by Bandra – Andheri). So I, Wacker, B3, Nirax and Kappa are partying and wondering where the hell were the other guys. Finally they turn up, and after hearing their explanation, we didn’t know whether to laugh or to cry!

Wacker was the start attraction at Hawaiian outback, where a guy (read gay) fell in love with Wacker and his oh-so-long-and-silky tresses. The two gay-some quickly exchanged cell numbers. Please to be noting that Mee suuu was in the Dalhi and Wacker was free to flirt around. But the best he could do was find a GUY..!!!!

After the drunken revelry at the outback, all of us managed to squeeze into one lousy cab, and headed to the Bastion of Fools (read I-420). Still in the mood of partying, Wacker starts making drinks for everyone. Now Jappo joins Kadzz, Kappa, Nirax, B3, Gymbie, Salary, (Ch)impzz, Oily, Kappa in the revelry. Kadzz is sloshed, so is Kappa, B3, and Salary. Meanwhile Salary gets hold of some green undergrowth and starts flying.

All sense of time and noise is lost. Cut to circa 3.30 am , April 2, 2006. Gymbie and B3 leave for their abode. Nirax, feeling unwell is escorted by (Ch)impzz back to her place. Wacker and I decide to put Iron Maiden. It goes… Fear of the Dark, Fear of the dark, I’ve a constant fear that something’s always near! And near it was! Suddenly the bell rings, and before we could say ‘Pandu’ a bunch of 4 light sabre weilding aliens crash the party. They take a round of the house and luckily there are no power puff girls inside. Oily and Salary are rolling around in the bedroom, again luckily hidden by a pillow.

So down the stairs and out the gate we parade behind the aliens, Kadzz (in the local dialect) and Wacker (in the national dialect) trying to negotiate freedom. Out of the gate, we see the mothership of these aliens. Wacker and Kadzz trying harder now to avoid entering the mothership. And then comes Oily walking (strolling) straight into the mothership. All this while, Jappo’s life is flashing in front of his eyes. There was no escape now, and we all reluctantly get into the mothership. The aliens start taking down the names for the sacrifice, only to realize that all of these earthlings are 24 years old, and are ‘Angrezz’. There’s sudden silence in the mothership when one of the lesser aliens quotes Rs 1200 / earthling as the price to freedom. Silence! And in the silence one solitary voice speaks out… “Which Indian City are you From??” (Kappa to Jappo, unknowing all this time that Jappo is actually from Japan, and not from some vague ‘Indian’ city). Wacker and Kadzz, again negotiate, and the price drops to 3000 total. We agree, and the aliens drive us to the ATM as a gesture of the new bond of friendship. Kadzz goes to ATM, and in the mean time, Wacker charms one of those alien beings with his oh-so-long-and-silky tresses and exchanges private numbers (two in one night!!), and the ransom comes down to 2000. Plus a coffee sponsored by the mothership.

Cut to scene I-420. (Ch)impzz comes home to find the place abandoned in a hurry. He finishes whatever is left in the glasses and transmits an sms signal to wacker, who replies ‘aliens’. Still under the influence of a heavy dose of Bakra, (Ch)impzz thinks that Oily has crossed over to the other side, and everyone is now pulling a fast one on him. So he calls Gymbie, who denies any knowledge of the earthlings’ whereabouts. Still skeptical, (Ch)impzz walks to Boing Boing, only to find that the earthlings and aliens have forged a bond of friendship and are happily chatting away over a cup of coffee.

We do a ‘beam me up Scotty’ to reach the bastion, and Kadzz loses all sense of Space and Time. So have to leave the latter part to someone else.

In the end I declare by the power invested in me (by the aliens) that the two fools be renamed permanently on this blog. Chimpzz and Varun the Oily Matter!!!