Some awesome one liners to keep you in splits

Caught the following ones on the net a long while back but forgot where i got them from.

- Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under
- The one who invented the door knocker got a No-bell prize

- The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large
- In democracy its your vote that counts. In feudalism its your count that votes.

- When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye
- Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

- It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers
- An office with many people and few electrical outlets could be in for a power struggle

- Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
- There was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn't control his pupils

Vote for whichever you thought was the best or if you can add some of your own, go ahead!!

And Nirax lights another candle

After Kaddz birthday last week, Nirax is not one to be left behind. She immediately decided to celebrate her birthday this week - bigger and better. So all you junta can wish Nirax today on her birthday - its has taken her 50 long years to turn 15. Finally.

Fiscal 06-07 starts with a bang. I-420 ka VA(A)T laggax !!

Yesterday was the day all of us celebrated our birthdays. We are special, so special that most countries recognize the auspicious day - the start of a brand new P&L and the commemoration of Fools worldwide!

Ok, so this one is for all you CAT aspirants out there. Read below for the clues:

• Wacker communicates that party rendezvous is the Hawaiian Outback to Messrs (read Messers - kind of messing around) me and Oily. (Circa 2006 AD, April 1st, 7 pm)
• Kaddz at a change in temporal coordinates communicates party rendezvous is Shouters to Messrs: Oily and me via cellular connections. (Circa 2006 AD, April 1st, 7:00:30 pm)
• Nirax is mum ... no, no she is yet to get married ... Mum here means silent. (All circa)
• Bong-bang-babe sends a short messaging service missive to Gymbee intimating her inability to attend the do at the Hawaaian outback. (Circa 2006 AD, April 1st, 21.45 pm)
• Gujju bhai doesnt know any of this as he is busying trying to appear un-gujju to british chicklets. (Circa doesnt matter, different time zone)
• Salary saunters into the Bloo Bark restaurant at 10.30 pm to ask Oily and me "whats the story?" (For salary, no circa, only Circus)
• A-butt and angelina come to the party at 10.30 pm in terms of adding to the planning complexity. They finally dont come to the actual party.
• Wacker is a fluent liar.
• I am pathologically suspicious of Wacker, especially on our birthdays.
• Meesoo leaves for Delhi.
• Kapil the journo arrives on the scene.
• Gymbee takes ages to finish her daily quota of hay with a single response to all questions asked such as "when are you coming?", Answer : " Coming there in 15 minutes)
• Wacker tells Gymbee earlier in the day that the do is happening at Chota Engama.
• Gymbee is suspicious of Oily and Me.
• Oily and Me don our thinking caps and plan counter-action measures against the Wacker and the Kaddz
• Wacker, Kaddz and Nirax leave in an auto.
• Gymbee , Salary, Oily and I go to Chota Engama and leave in 15 minutes after having comprehensively determined that Wacker and Co are not there as either customers or Waiters.
• Once again, its April 1st.

So the questions:

1) Was there a party in the first place?

2) If yes, where all did it happen and who were the party goers?

3) Did A-butt wear the same bra as he did the previous time when the last blog on him was written?

4) Does Gymbee know that Wacker was planning a spoof on Kaddz with help from Gujju bhai in consultation with Nirax directly in cahoots with Oily and I so as to ensure Salary does not know that A-butt and Angelina have already told Kaddz that Wacker is spoofing Gymbee?

ANSWER THE 4 QUESTIONS CORRECTLY AND WIN EXCITING PRIZES SUCH AS

- Wackers follical remnants from his escapades down under (really down and really really under) under the scalpel.

- Serenade by Me, my guitar and Irene.

- Workout day with Gymbee with a bonus course on "How to make mincemeat of your prince charming in 30 seconds!" Satisfaction guaranteed else ask for full refund within 30 days!!

P.S: If you are hot and single and follow under either categories of Chicks or Chicklets, please let Me know. We can plan to have coffee by mutual arrangement.